about three weeks ago, my buddy xiaoyong started worrying that he’d be single and lonely for valentine’s day, and vowed to devote the next few weeks to its prevention. of course i was glad to see he had his priorities straight. anyways, fast forward to 12:01 am on february 15th, to my living room, where i sat watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with xiaoyong snoring on the couch next to me, after a full day spent in each other’s company. yeah…each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.

i walked around town with xujuan, xujun’s sister, for a bit tonight. i was feeling a bit melancholy, not cause of valentine’s day, but for a variety of reasons, and i couldn’t begin to express them in Chinese, so she told me that when she was young, she always felt a lot better after pouring all her secrets into her doll. so i ranted and rambled in English to her for a good fifteen minutes, with her not understanding a word, and it made me realize how long it’s been since i’ve had any kind of significant or meaningful spoken English interaction. i talked on and on into her deaf ears, and was able to put some subconscious feelings and thoughts that had been bothering me into words for the first time.

i think it’s a rare person who is able to prevent spiritual or mental stagnation when placed in any kind of isolation, and an even rarer person who’s able to create and flourish with only his own self to bounce off of. it must feel so refreshing to be able to be that self-sufficient.

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