courtesy of a reminder from james dellinger:

April is the cruelest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

this little verse is as eloquent as ever, but this year it has a different feel to it, posting it from the Chinese countryside, instead of the cynical self-aware universe of berkeley. i guess spring cruelty here is of a more simple and encompassing nature as opposed to the psychological malaise and bittersweet suffering of college students whose aspirations exceed their reality. here's another eliot passage that speaks for itself:

The dove descending breaks the air
With flame of incandescent terror
Of which the tongues declare
The one discharge from sin and error.
The only hope, or else despair
Lies in the choice of pyre or pyre -
To be redeemed from fire by fire.

this semester has gone by pretty fast. i've become really fond of about a third of my students, which is a couple hundred kids. i wish i could stick around and watch them grow up, though i'm scared for what courses their lives will take. somebody told me that most students who graduate from jishou teacher's college, which i think is a pretty big accomplishment, end up getting manual labor jobs in factories and the like, because their families don't have the right connections or enough bribe money. the stagnancy of life here sometimes seems impossibly overwhelming...this country needs to be redeemed from fire by Fire.

last week i was teaching my 5th grade classes the months of the year, and when i asked what the second month was, a boy raised his hand and actually said 'febtober!' the day was his, the brigand.