allright, here's a story that happened today (i think living with jesse has completely destroyed any concern for my personal dignity that i might have had):


so i've been looking for a job for the past couple weeks while i've been kinda bumming around; i've applied to a thousand places so it's kinda hard to keep track of all of them, especially cause they never call me back. um anyways, so i was hanging out with this guy this morning and when i was driving back to my apartment i realized i really had to take a dump. thoughts are in italics.

pete, driving home: wow it's a beautiful day, nice and sunny and br - oh no i really have to take a dump!

when i walked in to my apartment my roommate was in the shower so i daintily waddled around until he got out and then i rushed in. near the end of the ordeal, the phone rang.

dave: hello?
pete: oh God, don't be for me
dave: lemme check if he's available...hey pete, can you take the phone? i'm on the cordless
pete: ummmmm
dave: it's a lady who sounds kinda professional
pete: alrite, can you hand it to me? i'll open the door a bit
dave: ok here's the pho - OH MY GOD IT STINKS!!
pete: hello?
lady: .......
pete: uh, hello?
lady: hi, i'm from the princeton review, we received your application to be a tutor
pete: ok, slowly pull the toilet paper roll, don't let it squeak... right, i remember sending that in
lady: so we were wondering if you are still interested in a position
pete: softly, softly...you're a smooth daddy pete... actually i'm waiting to hear from a couple other interviews, could i call you back next week?
lady: sure
pete: thank you
lady: great
pete: yup
lady: ok then
pete: right
lady: goodbye!
pete: goodbye!
FLUSH

FIN


hm, i'm realizing that a lot of my blog entries center around the bathroom and the toilet. let me analyze myself and decipher the hidden meaning...it means pete, you're lonely and going crazy. look at this, you're even talking to yourself as if you are actually talking to yourself, as if it's an original device that wasn't already used by dave eggers in A Heartbreaking Work. alright, enough of trying to be clever beyond my abilities. here is a translated waka from eleventh century Japan, a sort of extended haiku, which i will quote as if i had it in mind all along, even though i just randomly flipped open a book and saw it on a page:

A thousand strands of black hair, tangled hair - like them my thoughts, tangling and entangled

yeah...following one strand of thought hair...what if the nets get swept tomorrow?? i wonder who my Most Hated Laker will be next year. this is how it's been the past three years, ever since they officially sold their collective soul to satan during the fourth quarter of game 7 of the semifinals against the blazers:

1999-2000: brian shaw
2000-2001: rick fox
2001-2002: derek fisher

but this year rick fox is making a strong bid for the post-season MHL, what a guy. EXACTLY, rick, EXACTLY.

i spent some time with tuma this week. being around him makes me feel so christian and unchristian at the same time; it's like hanging out with him points out the own insincerity of my christian walk, but at the same time the honest acknowledgement of certain things is already a step towards holiness. i had such a hard time coming up with an answer to his question "how is God shaping you through your reading of the bible?", i didn't know if i was trying to answer the question or if i was trying to come up with an answer to get out from under the microscope.

he said that a believer's post-conversion experience will not necessarily be different than his pre-conversion experience, to contradict my assumption that the regeneration of a man's spirit will be a radical thing, a definite change in his consciousness. but he said that that doesn't have to be the case at all, that anything in your experience is just that, empirical, feelings-based. the change comes from us trusting God's promises, obeying His commands, and watching His promises be fulfilled in our lives, rather than searching ourselves trying to find traces of Him...

God's promises, and God's commands, work hand in hand to establish God's name throughout the earth...and not for our detriment, but for our good. you heard it here first! the new and improved tuma's creed =)