another death. two of the best men i've known have now passed away unexpectedly within 7 months of each other.
.....blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.....
i first met jeff in the middle of nowhere, back when i taught english in a mountainside farm town of 30,000 people in one of the poorest counties in china. i mentioned in a blog post on Feb 20, 2005 that two travelling worship bands were planning to play a concert at our school. one of their leaders happened to be a lively, wisecracking japanese-american who made it a point to strike up a conversation with every person who crossed his path, language barriers be damned.
five years, a wife, and a couple intercontinental moves later, my friend mentioned a pastor in north taipei whose calling was to disciple and mentor men. his name popped up in a couple other places and a short while later i received a distinct impression from the Lord, telling me to meet this man, that he would play a significant role in my life.
i walked into oasis church in 天母 one sunday in the fall of 2010 and found myself staring at the lively japanese-american who was cracking jokes to the congregation as he preached his sermon. after the service i walked up to him and he stared back at me. what...you...baojing?!
he introduced me to his amazing wife, i introduced him to mine, and they unofficially adopted us into their family. from that point on, taiwan became home. over the next few years, jeff and his wife poured into us like nothing we'd ever experienced before.
.....Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies.
Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, Your justice like the great deep.....
this has been a dark year. i don't understand why good men are dying early deaths and why pain seems to be increasing. i don't understand it, i don't like it, and...somehow it has only strengthened my conviction in the goodness of God.
a couple months ago i wrote the following email to friends who suffered a late term miscarriage:
i can't imagine the depths that must creep up on you when you let your guard down or even just pause a moment to reflect. i can't imagine the intensity of the wrestling that may be going on inside your hearts and your spirits. but i know our God is big enough to take all of your pain, all your grief, all your blackness, and give you all of Himself in return. clinging to faith in the face of tragedy may seem like a mindless cop out to some, but i think to us it's in fact the deepest expression of faith, the deepest way we can let Him into our lives. after all, God lost a son Himself - He's not above this kind of pain.
this was part of jeff's legacy to me - while we both loved to live and explore the world, he trained me to do so while keeping the eyes of my spirit open to the greater reality around me than what could be seen by my physical eyes. this is what he modeled everyday. this is how he poured and poured and poured himself out EVERY SINGLE DAY and never ran dry.
we visited jeff and his wife for a few days this past may. it was instantly our home away from home. after we left, i sent them this message:
just wanted to say thanks again for letting us stay with you and for all the other things you've done for us. being around your family and in your home always makes me feel...elevated, where i get the most tangible sense of God's reality being superior to the world we see around us. even if we're just sitting around watching goofballs on tv. thanks for being so real and so awesome.
and thank you jeff, for letting me witness how a man of purest heart walks with and sees God in his daily life. thank you for fostering a conviction in me that God always makes good things out of bad. thank you for pouring into me to the point where i can now give myself over to both fully grieving and fully rejoicing at your passing.
the book of hebrews says Jesus endured the cross for the joy set before him. and so we endure our grief, fixing the eyes of our spirit on the author and perfecter of our faith, being sustained by the joy set before us of one day joining our friends and arriving at home, one more time.
