a motherly quote:

mom, to my sister on her birthday: you're 25 and ben's 25, so the two of you added together are still 1 less than me

i just picked up the book no man is an island by thomas merton...it's pretty gripping already. From a couple pages in:

This matter of 'salvation' is, when seen intuitively, a very simple thing. But when we analyze it, it turns into a complex tangle of paradoxes. We become ourselves by dying to ourselves. We gain only what we give up, and if we give up everything we gain everything. We cannot find ourselves within ourselves, but only in others, yet at the same time before we can go out to others we must first find ourselves. We must forget ourselves in order to become truly conscious of who we are. The best way to love ourselves is to love others, yet we cannot love others unless we love ourselves since it is written, 'Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.' But if we love ourselves in the wrong way, we become incapable of loving anybody else. And indeed when we love ourselves wrongly we hate ourselves; if we hate ourselves we cannot help hating others. Yet there is a sense in which we must hate others and leave them in order to find God. Jesus said: 'If any man come to me and hate not his father anid his mother...yea and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.' As for this finding of God, we cannot even look for Him unless we have already found Him, and we cannot find Him unless he has first found us. We cannot begin to seek Him without a special gift of His grace, yet if we wait for grace to move us, before beginning to seek Him, we will probably never begin.

The only effective answer to the problem of salvation must therefore reach out to embrace both extremes of a contradiction at the same time. Hence that answer must be supernatural. That is why all the answers that are not supernatural are imperfect: for they only embrace one of the contradictory terms, and they can always be denied by the other.

wow that was long...deep tho...like the grand canyon...

quote n + m + r + q from the BHOT:

talking about a certain nameless girl:
pete: i don't get it, why do so many guys like her? is it like wanting to conquer unconquered territory or something?
eric: actually i think she's already been conquered a lot

please direct all further inquiries to eric huang.

another motherly vignette:

last may when my parents flew out here for my graduation, my mom couldn't stop playing foosball, she was addicted. it was like mom we're eating dinner; hold on, one more game...mom it's time for church; ok after i score...mom i'm graduating now; no, tell them to wait... (i might be exaggerating). anyways, it got to the point where she even started trash-talking me...i tried to be nice and ignore it, but she was relentless, and in the end i was goaded into destroying her...of course i felt immensely guilty afterwards.

the moral: i guess even my mom's susceptible to that bit of evil that girls pull on guys when they're competing, where if the guy's losing they make fun of him and call him unmanly names, and if he's winning, they cry injustice and call him a bully. evil.