there was an article in the china daily a few days ago about how the old president of taiwan, lee teng-hui, is unhappy with lien chan's visit to the mainland; the article was full of slander and petty name-calling. admittedly, i know next to nothing about lee teng-hui, but this article was such over the top propaganda that i had to respond, probably a little too heatedly. this was the first thing i wrote in the comments section, under the name Voice of Reality:
"But one cannot fool all the people all the time, and politicians who cheat the public to do evil will eventually be denounced by the public."
Wow. How is this article presented to the viewing public as news instead of an editorial opinion?
Where is the evidence of the 'new round of mainland enthusiasm' in Taiwan? Has the author of this article even been to Taiwan lately? If so, he must have left his conscience and journalistic integrity in Beijing.
Are you bitches blind? Nobody in Taiwan even comes close to liking the law. Why would anybody be happy about a law that authorizes another country to bomb the shit out of them according to that country's own whim?
The surreal level of hypocrisy of the Chinese media is beyond belief. Until China faces up to the fact that Taiwan has been a de facto independent state for the past 60 years, cross-strait relations will never have a solid foundation of truth. If the Chinese government really cares about popular opinion in Taiwan, and if they are so sure that most Taiwanese desire re-unification, they should simply back the hell off and let the Taiwanese people dictate the course of their own island. After all,"the real traitors are those who distort, cheat and misappropriate public opinion for their own vicious intentions, and those who claim to love Taiwan but are actually sabotaging thewelfare of the Taiwan people and selling out the future of Taiwan. They will be denounced by the people once their true face is exposed."
surprisingly enough, it was posted, along with comments by other readers expressing their disagreement with the article, and a dialogue of sorts began. kind of encouraging.
sorry everything's been so curt and serious lately, i haven't really felt like writing in awhile. though if you're still reading this, you're probably used to my inconsistency by now.
...
Friday, May 06, 2005
Saturday, April 30, 2005
a wise and penetrating passage (somewhat edited by me) from Cry, the Beloved Country, where Father Vincent is talking to another priest, Kumalo, who has just learned that his son has deserted his pregnant girlfriend and killed a white man who was a great fighter for justice in South Africa:
- My friend, your anxiety turned to fear, and your fear turned to sorrow. But sorrow is better than fear. For fear impoverishes always, while sorrow may enrich.
Kumalo looked at him, with an intensity of gaze that was strange in so humble a man, and hard to encounter.
- I do not know that I am enriched, he said.
- No one can comprehend the ways of God, said Father Vincent desperately.
Kumalo looked at him, not bitterly or accusingly or reproachfully.
- It seems that God has turned from me, he said.
- Stop, cried Father Vincent. You are beside yourself. Go and pray, go and rest. And do not judge your son too quickly. He too is shocked into silence, maybe.
Kumalo stood up. I trust that it is so, he said, but I have no hope any more. What did you say I must do? Yes, pray and rest.
There was no mockery in his voice, and Father Vincent knew that it was not in this man's nature to speak mockingly. But so mocking were the words that the priest caught him by the arm, and said to him urgently, sit down, I must speak to you as a priest.
When Kumalo had sat down, Father Vincent said to him, yes, I said pray and rest. Even if it is only words that you pray, and even if your resting is only a lying on a bed. And do not pray for yourself, and do not pray to understand the ways of God. For they are secret. Who knows what life is, for life is a secret. And why you have compassion for a girl, when you yourself receive no compassion, that is a secret. And why you go on, when it would seem better to die, that is a secret. Do not pray and think about these things now, there will be other times. Pray for Gertrude, and for her child, and for the girl that is to be your son's wife, and for the child that will be your grandchild. Pray for your wife and all at Ndotsheni. Pray for the woman and the children that are bereaved. Pray for the soul of him who was killed. Pray for us at the Mission House, and for those at Ezenzeleni, who try to rebuild in a place of destruction. Pray for your own rebuilding. Pray for all white people, those who do justice, and those who would do justice if they were not afraid. And do not fear to pray for your son, and for his amendment.
- I hear you, said Kumalo humbly.
- And give thanks where you can give thanks. For nothing is better. Is there not your wife, and Mrs. Lithebe, and Msimangu, and this young white man at the reformatory? And now my son, go and pray, go and rest.
He helped the old man to his feet, and gave him his hat. And when Kumalo would have thanked him, he said, we do what is in us, and why it is in us, that is also a secret. It is Christ in us, crying that men may be succoured and forgiven, even when He Himself is forsaken.
He led the old man to the door of the Mission, and there parted from him.
- I shall pray for you, he said, night and day. That I shall do and anything more that you ask.
...
- My friend, your anxiety turned to fear, and your fear turned to sorrow. But sorrow is better than fear. For fear impoverishes always, while sorrow may enrich.
Kumalo looked at him, with an intensity of gaze that was strange in so humble a man, and hard to encounter.
- I do not know that I am enriched, he said.
- No one can comprehend the ways of God, said Father Vincent desperately.
Kumalo looked at him, not bitterly or accusingly or reproachfully.
- It seems that God has turned from me, he said.
- Stop, cried Father Vincent. You are beside yourself. Go and pray, go and rest. And do not judge your son too quickly. He too is shocked into silence, maybe.
Kumalo stood up. I trust that it is so, he said, but I have no hope any more. What did you say I must do? Yes, pray and rest.
There was no mockery in his voice, and Father Vincent knew that it was not in this man's nature to speak mockingly. But so mocking were the words that the priest caught him by the arm, and said to him urgently, sit down, I must speak to you as a priest.
When Kumalo had sat down, Father Vincent said to him, yes, I said pray and rest. Even if it is only words that you pray, and even if your resting is only a lying on a bed. And do not pray for yourself, and do not pray to understand the ways of God. For they are secret. Who knows what life is, for life is a secret. And why you have compassion for a girl, when you yourself receive no compassion, that is a secret. And why you go on, when it would seem better to die, that is a secret. Do not pray and think about these things now, there will be other times. Pray for Gertrude, and for her child, and for the girl that is to be your son's wife, and for the child that will be your grandchild. Pray for your wife and all at Ndotsheni. Pray for the woman and the children that are bereaved. Pray for the soul of him who was killed. Pray for us at the Mission House, and for those at Ezenzeleni, who try to rebuild in a place of destruction. Pray for your own rebuilding. Pray for all white people, those who do justice, and those who would do justice if they were not afraid. And do not fear to pray for your son, and for his amendment.
- I hear you, said Kumalo humbly.
- And give thanks where you can give thanks. For nothing is better. Is there not your wife, and Mrs. Lithebe, and Msimangu, and this young white man at the reformatory? And now my son, go and pray, go and rest.
He helped the old man to his feet, and gave him his hat. And when Kumalo would have thanked him, he said, we do what is in us, and why it is in us, that is also a secret. It is Christ in us, crying that men may be succoured and forgiven, even when He Himself is forsaken.
He led the old man to the door of the Mission, and there parted from him.
- I shall pray for you, he said, night and day. That I shall do and anything more that you ask.
...
Friday, April 22, 2005
here's a little explanation of the twist on psalm 23 from below, that i emailed to jesse awhile ago. i'm not sure how accurate or insightful it is, but it's my understanding of the francis schaeffer's line of thought:
sheep means mankind in general, belief that somewhere along the line, man will figure out ultimate meaning and stuff, whether or not it happens in your lifetime. after awhile people came to the conclusion that man's intelligence can't produce actual meaning but can only reduce everything to mechanics. this inevitably leads to complete despair or insanity (nietzche, da vinci), so people gradually stopped trying to find meaning in the area of reason and started looking towards non-reason. this shift was illustrated with kierkegaard, who was one of the first philosophers to place faith and meaning solely and completely in the category of irrationality.
this led to 'everything is my shepherd', where everything means nature and primitive man; return to basics, and in a sense, absurdity. that is, throw off rational thought and thought processes. this idea is similar to eastern religions in some ways, like how in buddhism everything's part of the same fabric or something like that. another part of 'everything is my shepherd' is how people were reduced from having absolute standards to judge the things that come through your senses to knowing only what your senses tell you (what IS, is all there is - so everything that is, is right, and is my shepherd), to not even being sure that what your senses tell you about the world around is really what's there. that transitioned into 'nothing is my shepherd.'
...
sheep means mankind in general, belief that somewhere along the line, man will figure out ultimate meaning and stuff, whether or not it happens in your lifetime. after awhile people came to the conclusion that man's intelligence can't produce actual meaning but can only reduce everything to mechanics. this inevitably leads to complete despair or insanity (nietzche, da vinci), so people gradually stopped trying to find meaning in the area of reason and started looking towards non-reason. this shift was illustrated with kierkegaard, who was one of the first philosophers to place faith and meaning solely and completely in the category of irrationality.
this led to 'everything is my shepherd', where everything means nature and primitive man; return to basics, and in a sense, absurdity. that is, throw off rational thought and thought processes. this idea is similar to eastern religions in some ways, like how in buddhism everything's part of the same fabric or something like that. another part of 'everything is my shepherd' is how people were reduced from having absolute standards to judge the things that come through your senses to knowing only what your senses tell you (what IS, is all there is - so everything that is, is right, and is my shepherd), to not even being sure that what your senses tell you about the world around is really what's there. that transitioned into 'nothing is my shepherd.'
...
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
here's something clever from How Should We Then Live?. the book traces the flow of western thought since the romans to see how we arrived at our present day (well, 1975 present-day) ways of thinking. one of the themes is the course that humanistic thinking has taken, from the renaissance (man's ability to use his reasoning to discover ultimate meaning), through the enlightenment (breakdown of absolutes, society's ability to be perfected), to modern science and modernism (the universe as a closed system, relativism, absurdity, what is is right). the author quotes his son, who describes it like this:
Humanism has changed the Twenty-third Psalm:
They began - I am my shepherd
Then - Sheep are my shepherd
Then - Everything is my shepherd
Finally - Nothing is my shepherd.
earlier in the book he says: At the end of his life Leonardo da Vinci had foreseen that beginning humanistically with mathematics one has only particulars and will never come to universals or meaning, but will end only with mechanics. It took humanistic thought two hundred and fifty years to arrive at the place which Leonardo had foreseen, but by the eighteenth century it had arrived. Everything is the machine, including people.
***
i've been listening to a lot of pink floyd lately. i think if i'd listened to a bunch of david gilmour guitar solos instead of billy corgan guitar solos when i was learning to play, i'd be a much better guitarist than i am right now. not that billy's not awesome, he's just too much of an instinctive player; david gilmour's not nearly as fancy or all over the place, but his style is so expressive and lyrical and relatable.
...
Humanism has changed the Twenty-third Psalm:
They began - I am my shepherd
Then - Sheep are my shepherd
Then - Everything is my shepherd
Finally - Nothing is my shepherd.
earlier in the book he says: At the end of his life Leonardo da Vinci had foreseen that beginning humanistically with mathematics one has only particulars and will never come to universals or meaning, but will end only with mechanics. It took humanistic thought two hundred and fifty years to arrive at the place which Leonardo had foreseen, but by the eighteenth century it had arrived. Everything is the machine, including people.
***
i've been listening to a lot of pink floyd lately. i think if i'd listened to a bunch of david gilmour guitar solos instead of billy corgan guitar solos when i was learning to play, i'd be a much better guitarist than i am right now. not that billy's not awesome, he's just too much of an instinctive player; david gilmour's not nearly as fancy or all over the place, but his style is so expressive and lyrical and relatable.
...
[warning: i just re-read this entry and it's pretty dour and unpleasant. must be the weather - early last week it was sunny and i was wearing shorts and sunglasses, and then two days later it SNOWED. stupid communist weather.]
this china-taiwan-america-north korea business is setting me on edge. what was the point of passing an anti-secession law? if china attacks taiwan, do they really think other countries will be ok with it just because china made it legal? at least the european arms embargo isn't gonna be lifted for awhile. i feel helpless reading about this stuff, like how i feel when some of my friends here tell me about their unhappy marriages and how they wished they'd never gotten married and how their kids are the only bright spots in their family lives, but a million times more so.
with my friends, i can't force them to love their spouses and i can't tell them to leave them either. nothing can be done, except to pray for them and to pray that my faith can be increased so that i can actually believe that something can change in their hearts, when their brightest source of hope right now is the possibility of divorce after their kids have grown up. for the past few months when i've told them that they must learn to love and that God can make things grow out of nothing, my words have sounded empty even to me. i know that God is not dependent on the strength of my faith in order to change people, but i need to learn hope and faith for my own sake, for my own peace.
my friend is getting married in may to a guy she met last december. i've hung out with them together a few times; my impression of him is probably a little below 'he seems allright'. regardless, i keep telling her that six months of knowing somebody would be too short even if he was the chinese brad pitt and to look at all the unhappy relationships around that resulted from a too-brief courtship, but she's feeling a lot of pressure from both her parents and the guy's parents. all i can do is hope they overcome the odds.
this year, the school's been trying to upgrade themselves from a county level school to a provincial level school (which comes with more government funds), so they've been putting up new buildings and stuff, to put on a good show for the inspectors from changsha who're coming soon. a friend of mine was asked to head up a local chapter of the communist youth league and she told me it was a big fake; apparently students are supposed to take a lot of special classes and go through special education in order to be able to join the league, but the school leaders told her to just swear in all the students first and then tell them what they'll need to know in order to impress the inspectors.
for the other stuff, a teacher told me that the school forced a 'mandatory donation' of at least 5000 RMB from each teacher in order to fund the new buildings, with promises to return the money in three years at 'a better interest rate than the bank'. if a teacher felt that they couldn't afford to give that much money or just didn't want to, it was taken directly from their salary.
ok, that's enough.
...
this china-taiwan-america-north korea business is setting me on edge. what was the point of passing an anti-secession law? if china attacks taiwan, do they really think other countries will be ok with it just because china made it legal? at least the european arms embargo isn't gonna be lifted for awhile. i feel helpless reading about this stuff, like how i feel when some of my friends here tell me about their unhappy marriages and how they wished they'd never gotten married and how their kids are the only bright spots in their family lives, but a million times more so.
with my friends, i can't force them to love their spouses and i can't tell them to leave them either. nothing can be done, except to pray for them and to pray that my faith can be increased so that i can actually believe that something can change in their hearts, when their brightest source of hope right now is the possibility of divorce after their kids have grown up. for the past few months when i've told them that they must learn to love and that God can make things grow out of nothing, my words have sounded empty even to me. i know that God is not dependent on the strength of my faith in order to change people, but i need to learn hope and faith for my own sake, for my own peace.
my friend is getting married in may to a guy she met last december. i've hung out with them together a few times; my impression of him is probably a little below 'he seems allright'. regardless, i keep telling her that six months of knowing somebody would be too short even if he was the chinese brad pitt and to look at all the unhappy relationships around that resulted from a too-brief courtship, but she's feeling a lot of pressure from both her parents and the guy's parents. all i can do is hope they overcome the odds.
this year, the school's been trying to upgrade themselves from a county level school to a provincial level school (which comes with more government funds), so they've been putting up new buildings and stuff, to put on a good show for the inspectors from changsha who're coming soon. a friend of mine was asked to head up a local chapter of the communist youth league and she told me it was a big fake; apparently students are supposed to take a lot of special classes and go through special education in order to be able to join the league, but the school leaders told her to just swear in all the students first and then tell them what they'll need to know in order to impress the inspectors.
for the other stuff, a teacher told me that the school forced a 'mandatory donation' of at least 5000 RMB from each teacher in order to fund the new buildings, with promises to return the money in three years at 'a better interest rate than the bank'. if a teacher felt that they couldn't afford to give that much money or just didn't want to, it was taken directly from their salary.
ok, that's enough.
...
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
i can't sleep. yesterday i woke up at 2 pm cause i went to bed at 6 am cause i woke up at 3 am cause i went to bed at 10 pm, and so on.
***
here's a little game i'm copying off a random xanga (which copied it off another random xanga):
Pick a band and then answer the following questions using only that band's song titles.
Band: smashing pumpkins
1. Are you male or female? i am one
runners up: spaceboy, country girl (james iha was part of the pumpkins too!)
2. Describe yourself: geek usa
runners up: stumbleine, we only come out at night, where boys fear to tread
3. How do people feel about you? muzzle
runner up: obscured
4. How do you feel about yourself? jellybelly
runner up: frail and bedazzled
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend situation: tales of a scorched earth
runner up: um, that one says it pretty well
6. Where would you rather be? my blue heaven
runners up: luna, galapagos, in the arms of sleep, destination unknown
7. Describe what you want to be: perfect
runners up: transformer, marquis in spades, girl named sandoz
8. Describe how you live: by starlight
runners up: spaced, once upon a time
9. Describe how you love: thru the eyes of ruby
runners up: crush, drown, with every light, here is no why
10. Share a few words of wisdom: stand inside your love
runners up: the end is the beginning is the end, blue skies bring tears
***
here's a little game i'm copying off a random xanga (which copied it off another random xanga):
Pick a band and then answer the following questions using only that band's song titles.
Band: smashing pumpkins
1. Are you male or female? i am one
runners up: spaceboy, country girl (james iha was part of the pumpkins too!)
2. Describe yourself: geek usa
runners up: stumbleine, we only come out at night, where boys fear to tread
3. How do people feel about you? muzzle
runner up: obscured
4. How do you feel about yourself? jellybelly
runner up: frail and bedazzled
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend situation: tales of a scorched earth
runner up: um, that one says it pretty well
6. Where would you rather be? my blue heaven
runners up: luna, galapagos, in the arms of sleep, destination unknown
7. Describe what you want to be: perfect
runners up: transformer, marquis in spades, girl named sandoz
8. Describe how you live: by starlight
runners up: spaced, once upon a time
9. Describe how you love: thru the eyes of ruby
runners up: crush, drown, with every light, here is no why
10. Share a few words of wisdom: stand inside your love
runners up: the end is the beginning is the end, blue skies bring tears
Sunday, February 20, 2005
from the china daily, referring to Zhang Qizhi, a well-known ideological and cultural historian:
He advocates education in China's fine cultural tradition, as its solid foundations allow a finer, more objective appreciation of Western achievements.
a lot of times when i tell people that i'm going back to america to study china this fall, they ask me why i don't just study at a chinese university. depending on how well i know the person and their temperament, sometimes this leads to a rational and balanced discussion, and sometimes i just smile and shrug. i've been trying to learn to tone down my natural inclination towards picking fights.
there're these two american christian bands coming here to perform in two weeks, and they asked me to translate their song lyrics for them. they're singing about half-rock (mostly u2) and half-praise songs. i asked karen to help me translate, and we spent all day working on them, which i really appreciated, since translating by myself would've taken years and might not have turned out readable. anyways, when we got to the praise songs, she refused to continue. she also didn't want me to translate the lyrics by myself, afraid that i'd get in trouble with the government for spreading christian messages on school grounds.
we had a lively discussion about this for over an hour, with karen using a variety of tactics ranging from comparing me to bin laden to saying i didn't care about any of my friends because they'd all be heartbroken when i got thrown in jail. what a fireball.
anyways, the bands are coming here to take a look at the plot of land that's been chosen by the local government for this american organization to build a church on (as well as a future school, hospital, and orphanage). i don't know too many of the details, but apparently all the money is coming from the american side; all that's required of the government is their approval. i don't think they'd risk losing millions of dollars in funds over an issue of christian song lyrics.
Friday, February 18, 2005
signs that i've been in china too long:
1. i really enjoy the taste of oreos dunked in water
2. i’m no longer worried about holding my breath for so long in a public bathroom that i pass out and fall face forward into the latrine
2a. when i saw a latrine overflowing with, uh, fragrance and beauty, i merely shrugged it off and added my contribution. (seriously, these things are large holes dug in the ground. how many tens of gallons of s--- smelling foulness would it take to fill one up? i think even andy dufresne wouldn’t be able to bring himself to crawl through one of them.)
3. saying the sentence ‘please pass the meat…no, not the dog meat’ is second nature to me now
4. i don’t have enough fingers to count up how many days occur between showers…sometimes not enough toes either
5. when in public, instead of setting fire to my ears, i now merely ignore the music of kenny g
6. i’ve developed baojing vision (which makes berkeley vision seem like 20/20)
6a. at one point i found myself attracted to a girl with frizzy orange hair who was wearing striped pants and a bright pink puffy jacket with pepper-colored fake fur lining
7. i watched the highlights for almost every single candidate on the nba.com all-star voting web site, including primoz brezec and zydrunas ilgauskas (i drew the line at any of the golden state warriors)
8. when dancing, i don’t automatically feel like one of the top 3 least cool guys on the floor
9. i had to wake up at 3 am to listen to the cal-usc game online, and then only had time for a one hour nap before teaching my morning classes
9a. it wasn’t until halftime that i realized i hadn’t put on my glasses and that i’d been staring at the computer screen from three inches away for an hour and a half (ok that has nothing to do with being in china)
10. i spent part of christmas eve huddled over a pile of coal in the dark, with an iv needle stuck in my hand, and was more worried about if i’d downloaded enough Christmas music than the potentially fatal sanitary conditions of the local hospital
11. when xujun’s dad brought out a bottle of strong brandy for Chinese new year’s, i was so happy to see someone drinking a liquor other than baijiu that i gulped down a cup (and immediately passed out)
12. halfway through a lunch meeting with the headmaster, i realized that i hadn’t shaved in a week and that i was still wearing my pajamas
...
1. i really enjoy the taste of oreos dunked in water
2. i’m no longer worried about holding my breath for so long in a public bathroom that i pass out and fall face forward into the latrine
2a. when i saw a latrine overflowing with, uh, fragrance and beauty, i merely shrugged it off and added my contribution. (seriously, these things are large holes dug in the ground. how many tens of gallons of s--- smelling foulness would it take to fill one up? i think even andy dufresne wouldn’t be able to bring himself to crawl through one of them.)
3. saying the sentence ‘please pass the meat…no, not the dog meat’ is second nature to me now
4. i don’t have enough fingers to count up how many days occur between showers…sometimes not enough toes either
5. when in public, instead of setting fire to my ears, i now merely ignore the music of kenny g
6. i’ve developed baojing vision (which makes berkeley vision seem like 20/20)
6a. at one point i found myself attracted to a girl with frizzy orange hair who was wearing striped pants and a bright pink puffy jacket with pepper-colored fake fur lining
7. i watched the highlights for almost every single candidate on the nba.com all-star voting web site, including primoz brezec and zydrunas ilgauskas (i drew the line at any of the golden state warriors)
8. when dancing, i don’t automatically feel like one of the top 3 least cool guys on the floor
9. i had to wake up at 3 am to listen to the cal-usc game online, and then only had time for a one hour nap before teaching my morning classes
9a. it wasn’t until halftime that i realized i hadn’t put on my glasses and that i’d been staring at the computer screen from three inches away for an hour and a half (ok that has nothing to do with being in china)
10. i spent part of christmas eve huddled over a pile of coal in the dark, with an iv needle stuck in my hand, and was more worried about if i’d downloaded enough Christmas music than the potentially fatal sanitary conditions of the local hospital
11. when xujun’s dad brought out a bottle of strong brandy for Chinese new year’s, i was so happy to see someone drinking a liquor other than baijiu that i gulped down a cup (and immediately passed out)
12. halfway through a lunch meeting with the headmaster, i realized that i hadn’t shaved in a week and that i was still wearing my pajamas
...
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
about three weeks ago, my buddy xiaoyong started worrying that he’d be single and lonely for valentine’s day, and vowed to devote the next few weeks to its prevention. of course i was glad to see he had his priorities straight. anyways, fast forward to 12:01 am on february 15th, to my living room, where i sat watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind with xiaoyong snoring on the couch next to me, after a full day spent in each other’s company. yeah…each prayer accepted, each wish resigned.
i walked around town with xujuan, xujun’s sister, for a bit tonight. i was feeling a bit melancholy, not cause of valentine’s day, but for a variety of reasons, and i couldn’t begin to express them in Chinese, so she told me that when she was young, she always felt a lot better after pouring all her secrets into her doll. so i ranted and rambled in English to her for a good fifteen minutes, with her not understanding a word, and it made me realize how long it’s been since i’ve had any kind of significant or meaningful spoken English interaction. i talked on and on into her deaf ears, and was able to put some subconscious feelings and thoughts that had been bothering me into words for the first time.
i think it’s a rare person who is able to prevent spiritual or mental stagnation when placed in any kind of isolation, and an even rarer person who’s able to create and flourish with only his own self to bounce off of. it must feel so refreshing to be able to be that self-sufficient.
...
i walked around town with xujuan, xujun’s sister, for a bit tonight. i was feeling a bit melancholy, not cause of valentine’s day, but for a variety of reasons, and i couldn’t begin to express them in Chinese, so she told me that when she was young, she always felt a lot better after pouring all her secrets into her doll. so i ranted and rambled in English to her for a good fifteen minutes, with her not understanding a word, and it made me realize how long it’s been since i’ve had any kind of significant or meaningful spoken English interaction. i talked on and on into her deaf ears, and was able to put some subconscious feelings and thoughts that had been bothering me into words for the first time.
i think it’s a rare person who is able to prevent spiritual or mental stagnation when placed in any kind of isolation, and an even rarer person who’s able to create and flourish with only his own self to bounce off of. it must feel so refreshing to be able to be that self-sufficient.
...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)