i spent about 20 hours over the past two days looking at a tv. yesterday i watched 5 movies in a row with jenny liu (2 more than i've ever done before) and today i drove back to philly and vegged in the house doing nothing all day. now i'm gonna eat 63 slices of american cheese and go blind.

being in the east coast makes me feel kind of like david eggers in AHWOSG (on a much smaller scale and without all the sex). ug, what a pretentious comparison. i mean, cause berkeley is so different from here, and i've run across a bunch of random people from high school and before in the past couple weeks.

can't process. time to bed.

following are my new, revised uncompromisable requirements for my future bitsy pookums (the first two are old):

1. must have a pretty name
2. must smell good
3. must love calvin and hobbes (not the philosophers)*

* if said girl is unfamiliar with calvin and hobbes, she must love them upon first reading and proceed to devour the entire series. i mean, we wouldn't even have to talk to each other! on any given day i could open up to a strip, point to it, and say, 'this is how i'm feeling about the state of my life right now.' well i guess that's talking. boo.

(that was a joke.)

(it must mean something that i felt like i had to point out the joke above, for fear that people would actually believe that i won't want to have to talk to my future pooty pie.)

(if you understand those nicknames, i want to marry you. no, not you, jesse.)

by the way, i'm done with college. it is now that i face the greatest crossroads of my life: do i open a boba truck with joan (possibly called bobalicious) and drive around the US to different college campuses, or do i move to bavaria and open a cheese farm with joyce? i think i need to pray about this.

jesse went home thursday, steve went home yesterday, and dave moved out today, which means that i'm alone in the apartment for the nite. hm, it's 3:30 in the morning and nothing gay or moronic has happened yet...oh well, there's always tomorrow nite.

Two quotes, from two great minds, along the same lines of thought:

'I have become an enigma to myself, and therein lies my sickness.'
-Augustine

'Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, Where have I gone wrong?
Then a voice says to me, This is going to take more than one night.'
-Charlie Brown

So where have I gone wrong; have I even gone wrong somewhere? Why does everything seem so bittersweet these days? That's kind of how I feel about California, like it's a land of mystery, most of which I'll never discover. Stuart Hampshire, the priggish English philosopher we're forced to read for Philosophy 2, actually had an interesting point about how certain places, or certain sights, or certain scenes freeze in our mind and make us feel happy and yearning at the same time, as if they touch some long-lost and possibly never-realized part of our memory. Maybe it's sweet because of the good times I had with people, or myself, and bitter cause they're unrecoverable.

I used to go up to the top of the Campanile (before it closed down) and stare across the bay at Mt Tamalpais. Sometimes the bottom half would be covered in clouds or fog so only the top was showing, floating in the sky, and it felt like something magical must have been happening on the mountain. Later I would drive there and hike to the edge of the ocean and stare across the water. The sea was always so calm and expansive and I wondered if there was a giant Poseidon-type guy who lived miles offshore and made really huge splashes in the water, just for fun, when nobody was looking. The point of this silliness is that sometimes it feels like the exciting, mystical things are on the edge of my vision, and I can never turn my head quite fast enough to catch them.

I just realized that I've been capitalizing the beginning of every sentence...I must be in a damn serious mood...better stop before somebody gets injured.

guest quote n + m + 1 from the BHOT:

eric: man, i had massive diarrhea today
eric: when i got on the toilet it came out so fast
eric: i had to take a shower afterwards cause there was so much splashage

speaking of which, there's been a new development. the managers aren't letting us move out because we're on the lease till may, so me, steve, and jesse, might stay here together and look for another roommate for when dave moves out. well played, ya brigands! let the stories keep coming...

changing the topic, here's my song of the week, 'zero chance' by soundgarden:

I think I know the answer
I stumbled on and all the world fell down
And all the sky went silent
Cracked like glass and slowly
Tumbled to the ground
They all say if you look hard
You'll find your way back home
Born without a friend
And bound to die alone

ah i love it...

quote number n + m from the BHOT:

jesse: squeak, squeak, pfffft...bloop
jesse: mm...heavy underwear
jesse: if anybody wants me, i'll be in the bathroom

how sad, we're moving out after this semester, which means my supply of bathroom jokes will run out, which basically means that i'll never have a humorous blogspot entry again.

i think i read somewhere that the movie my sassy girl was based on the online journal of this guy who recorded his adventures with his actual girlfriend. so maybe they should make a movie out of my blogspot, based on jesse! they can call it: my sassy girl.

first tenet to understanding women and men:

"it seems like with girls who are closer to their dads, they have easier time making guy friends..and guys who are closer with their moms have easier times making girl friends"

-the wisdom of carolyn liu

talking to my jobless buddy:

me: why can't i get a stupid interview?
me: i can't believe companies are so good at weeding out morons from competent people

i guess either i got a lot dumber in the past four years, or getting a job is harder than entering college. i shouldn't have listened to all those 'practical' people who told me to just go to college and bypass entering the job hunt early, now my stock has gone down after 4 subpar years and i'll never have a chance to make the nba...

i guess it was bound to happen one day. i just didn't think it would be this way, so unexpected and unannounced. i mean, no matter how much you brace yourself, the shock rips through any pathetic attempts at preparation. come on, who knew? i thought i would've been the one in the shower and he would've been on the toilet...

0.437 seconds after i opened the bathroom door, jesse opened the shower curtain.

he wanted to shower and i needed to take a dump. it was the first time our age-old roles had been reversed. oh, mine eyes.

verse of the day:

My eyes...flow unceasingly, without relief...
Lamentations 3:48

there was something wrong with my template or something so i couldn't post for awhile. but now it's fixed so i can resume frequently posting...............................
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i seriously can't wait for the nba season to start. yay nets!

if the warriors win 32 games or less, eric's treating me to the house of prime rib. i wonder if they take 8 month reservations.

God, i can't think seriously while listening to sun yan zi sing about love through email, or something to do with cyber love and electronics. be back later.

proverb of the day:

'A fool's lips bring him strife,
and his mouth invites a beating.'
Proverbs 18:6

i saw 'my sassy girl' last nite, and i'm still thinking about it. i don't even know the name of the girl main character in the movie, and i don't remember how to say the name of the guy main character, so i can't even think about it properly. you know, like when you dwell on something, the labels run through your mind, for example if you're dwelling (different than reflecting or thinking, closer to daydreaming) on the Little Mermaid, the words ariel and prince eric will flash through your head several times, probably unconsciously. anyways, so the only thing that can flash through my head is the stupid name of the movie, my sassy girl. the effect of the movie is so great that the title has even started to sound romantic to me.

i would continue, but it's only 3 pm right now, which means the hour for pointless pontification is over 9 hours away.